I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife to
empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else…
I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork
from the first bottle and pured the contents down the sink with the
exception of one glass, which I drank.
I then withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with
the exception of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the
third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank.
I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle
down the glass, which I drank. I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next
and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass.
I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle.
Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.
When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted
the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were twenty-nine,
and as the houses came by I counted them again, and finally I had all the
houses in one bottle, which I drank.
I’m not under tha affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep I am. I’m not half as thunk as you might drink. I fool so feelish I don’t know who is me, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.